Kaos!

This week is my first time participating in Company Girl Coffee, a virtual meetup for bloggers to share a cup of coffee and a little fellowship.

I think I hit a wall this week. I'm realizing that my life is Kaotic. I know that it should be spelled chaotic, but my inner craziness is better portraited with the incorrect spelling. Let me clarify that my husband and kids aren't causing the Kaos. It is my lack of discipline and organization. So, I've been on a mission to establish order in my life. Here's the plan:

1. Wake up by 6a.m. for devotion- For the sake of transparency, I will say that my greatest weakness as a Christian is that I don't spent enought time with the One I'm supposed to be following. Some of you might think 6a.m. is nuts but my hubby is up and out by 6:30, so he's agreed to make sure that I am up when he leaves.
2. Develop and keep a daily schedule- laundry, cleaning, etc. The daily small things at Home Sanctuary  will be an instrumental part of this.
3. Start menu planning - I'm trying to get ready for Menu Plan Monday at Organizing Junkie

I started this yesterday, and so far so good. My prayer is that I can develop the discipline to maintain these areas, for the sake of all who have to endure living with me !

Blog Shoutout: Love Lasts a Lifetime

Today I will begin a feature that I'm calling Blog Shoutout. I've been reading some great blogs, and I want to do a little more than highlight them in my blogroll. My goal is to feature a new blog every week so that you can know where to go to find great information on food, marriage, beauty, etc., and maybe even a little encouragement along the way.

I actually starting reading Love Lasts a Lifetime several months before I started blogging. Kelly and contributing writer Doug (her husband) have been a great source of encouragement to me concerning my marriage. I don't know about you, but there are some issues concerning my marriage that I don't feel comfortable sharing with my mom (SEX!). The Lord has used Kelly as a "mom" to help me be more open concerning intimacy in marriage. I don't want to share too much of Doug and Kelly's story, but God has helped them overcome some major difficulties in their marriage. They have chosen to use their experiences for His glory, and as a way to help others honor the Lord in their relationships.

Kelly, thanks for "spurring" me on. May the Lord continue to bless you and your family.

The Power of Prayer

The past couple of weeks with my two year old have been rigorous. I don't really surrender to the notion of "terrrible twos", but lately, I don't know! A few days ago I decided I was going to pray with this little girl before I let her feet touch the floor. And so we did. And I must say that was one of the best days we had in a while.  The Lord wants to mold the hearts of our children.  All we need to do is get out of the way and let Him.

Please Cleave!

This post is dedicated to my sweet girlfriend M. Just the thought of her is accountability for me right now. She had an idea for a post and very adamantly said "Here's something for you to blog about." So here I am at 6:30 am on a Saturday blogging because my head and heart are full with this post. Thanks M.

About a year after Mr. Fabulous and I got married, we got into a disagreement about something. I can't remember what it was, but it must have been something significant because I remember very clearly leaving our bedroom in the middle of the night to go sit on the couch (this is not something that I regularly do). I was upset and this profound thought came into my head: "I just want to go home." By home, I mean to my parents. They could make it all better. Then I had startling realization. I couldn't go home. Number 1, I'm married and I just had to suck it up. And number 2, I was in Los Angeles. My folks were in Birmingham. For those of you who don't know, that's about a 30 hour drive, or a $300 plane ticket.
I'm sure there are some husbands who deal with this, but ladies, I think it is essential to our marriages that we grasp this concept:
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:24 Amplified Bible.

So, Mr. Fabulous ticks me off. I pick up the phone and call momma, daddy, best friend, whoever. I tell them about the situation. Then later, we kiss and make up. Everything's right with the world in my house, but whoever I shared that info. with hasn't  forgotten about that incident, and they are looking at and treating my man like he's a villain. Here's another example. I have a issue with my car. Mr. Fabulous tries to fix it, but that ain't his area. I call daddy for help without my man's consent. He gets upset. Now, I have crushed him, and totally disregarded his role as head of our home.

And in case you think that I'm being mean or preachy, think about this. If your husband called his mom everytime you didn't clean the toilet properly, or burned a casserole, would you be a little annoyed? Better yet, what if he called to tell her you weren't meeting all of his sexual needs. I don't know about you, but my head would literally explode. The cooking is my domain, and I don't want feel that I'm being judged. Neither does my husband.

Do you get where I'm going with this? I'm not saying cut all ties with your family. I am saying that aside from my relationship with Christ, my relationship with Fabulous come next. I need to preserve, nurture, and honor it at all costs. God tells us to leave and cleave. This isn't just physically leaving your parents home; I think this is me actively acknowledging that I'm no longer subject to their authority and protection. That job is now his, and I should respect that. Period. When I'm not sure how to best handle a situation, I need to shut up, go somewhere, and pray. I should let the Lord guide me through the conflict. I shouldn't blab our business to the world in an effort to get sympathy, or to give the impression that I'm running things. I do think that it's o.k. to have a couple of godly, married girlfriends who can give you wise counsel, but I can probably count the number of times that I have called a friend when he and I have had a disagreement.

If this is a serious issue with you, pray that God will show you from his Word how to unite with your man. Ask Him to send someone into your life that can show you what this looks like. It may not change overnight, but the Lord can make it better, and you will be a blessing to your husband.

What A Blessing

It is truly a blessing to have a husband who is pursuing Christ with all of his heart. This morning my husband shared with me that he has three prayer partners. He has asked these men to hold him accountable for spiritual growth and loving his wife (that's me!). This was something that he saw a need for and intiated. All I can say is wow. It is so important that we surround ourselves with people who can challenge and encourage us through the Word of God. However, it seems that women are more likely to take this step. So ladies, if you know that your husband doesn't have godly men in his life to encourage him, don't nag. Just pray that the Lord will bring people like into his life.

And let us consider and give [a]attentive, continuous care to watching over one another, studying how we may stir up (stimulate and incite) to love and helpful deeds and noble activities, Not forsaking or neglecting to assemble together [as believers], as is the habit of some people, but admonishing (warning, urging, and encouraging) one another, and all the more faithfully as you see the day approaching.   Hebrews 10:24,25  Amplified Bible

Quality Time- Part 2

I just finished a lengthy conversation with my mom about raising kids and being married. The conversation made me think of another reason why we need to nurture our relationships with our spouses. In the grand scheme of the things, you only have a few years before your precious babies will be heading to college or other worldly pursuits. What are you going to do when the "nest" is empty? Will you have devoted so much time to the munchkins and so little time to your Boo that you guys will have nothing to talk about, and nothing in common? My mom said the day I rode into the sunset with my new husband and a U-haul, she and my dad walked back into the house, sat on the couch, and talked (Did I get a few tears?). She said that the thought never occcured to her that she and my dad wouldn't make it after the kids left. The sad part is that this is happening to empty nesters everywhere. Her advice? Invest the time into each other now. Take care of the kids, but let your Boo know that he is a priority.

Quality Time

I think that we must be careful not to allow our children to be a buffer between us and our husbands. If your idea of spending quality time with your husband involves little Timmy and JoJo, you might want to re-evaluate your plans. I do think that it is important to spend time together as a family, but if the only way that I enjoy being with my husband is when the kids are tow, then I may want to regroup. Ladies, I spend all day with my children. I have a great relationship with my kids because I spend so much time with them. However, my husband deserves to have some interrupted attention. Heck, I deserve it too, and the end of the day, my kids will benefit from seeing that mommy and daddy really do value each. So ladies, if you are using your kids as a means of hiding from your husband, call a babysitter right now, and take your honey out on a date.